Monday, December 31, 2012

2013 Fearless Predictions

I started doing this last year on Twitter but didn't write down any of them so I could keep track of what did and didn't come true. I do remember some that did and figured I'd turn this into a yearly thing. While some of these I seriously believe will happen, many are to be taken as light-heartedly and as case you couldn't figure that out. Hope you enjoy some of them. All of these were written before December 30, 2012.

Personal (myself or friends)
  - March 20th, the night of our Circus event, will be my best day of the first half of year       
  - I will drop at least 40 lbs by Christmas
- I will drink soda no more than 3 times in 2013
- I will play in the 2013 Bethesda Big Train Celebrity Game this year, not as a celebrity obviously and I will hit a HR
  - I will average at least 1 blog post a week on (shameless plug)
  - In turn if I keep up the writing and improve with each post I will achieve some form of validation, at least locally 
  - By the end of the year my cousin John will come to the decision it is time to retire but won’t do so until the end of 2014, right before closeout 
 - John will also get a new dog, but not a foo-foo dog. Chocolate Lab seems to be the best fit.
 - Britt McHenry will meet her future husband  
 - Britt McHenry will be staying in DC and will ascend within ABC 7, taking over full-time for Tim Brant who will move on by June 2014
 - Britt McHenry will receive an overture to co-host a DC Sports Talk radio show
 - I will complete the year without meeting my father…again though not necessarily by my choice
 - My cousin Pam finally graduates college
 - My cousin Kristin will get pregnant again. This time with twins. One will be Hispanic, one black, her  husband still white
 - Mark Cruz will finally get engaged. 50/50 shot that it will either be to his girlfriend or a transvestite masseuse in the Philippines
- 4 of my friends on Facebook will end up pregnant or getting someone pregnant during the year
-Tori Hill somehow finds her way into the Nats clubhouse while at a game next year, possibly sneaking in or flirting with Lombardozzi
- No matter how many blog posts I have in 2013, all combined will not accumulate to the 2 I wrote on Britt last spring (2600+)
- I will continue to use Twitter but more for sports, jokes and networking than for bitching about my job

Sports Cards & Memorabilia
- I will add one extremely rare Juan Dixon card to my collection, it will not be the triple logoman from Exquisite
- and Panini America will work on a basketball card set if JDC and some other HK guys get their shit together
- Upper Deck will go out of business
- Even when they do things right Panini will not get the respect its due from many members on the basketball side of the hobby
- I will open at least 50 boxes of cards this year and the money would still have better been spent on singles
- I will sell off some of my collection this year once I get my shit in order
- I still won’t pull a Michael Jordan autograph

- The Los Angeles Clippers win the NBA Championship (I’ve had OKC since the end of last season)   
- the NHL lockout will finally end…but it won’t be until July  - NHL ratings will fall on TV and arena’s will be down at least 20% 
- the Washington Nationals will win the 2013 World Series 
- Michael Morse will hit 40 HRs as a member of the Washington Nationals or Baltimore Orioles
- Angela Rypien will lead the Baltimore Charm Lingerie Football Team to the Championship
- Despite their offensive line and secondary woes the Redskins will not address the needs noting their strong record
- the new women’s soccer league will be a success
- the WNBA will continue to falter despite Candace Parker leading the Sparks to the championship
- Kevin Love, Josh Smith, Amar’e Stoudamire, and Dwight Howard will all be involved in big trades in the summer
- Chris Paul will re-sign with the Clippers and the Clippers will go to the WCF & unseat the Lakers as the team in LA
- Rex Ryan will be fired, Tim Tebow will end up in Jacksonville, Mark Sanchez will remain in NY
- Despite becoming favorites the Angels, Dodgers, and Blue Jays don’t make it out of the Divisional Series, one won’t make playoffs
- The Orioles will not see the same success as last year
- FP Santangelo and Bob Carpenter will be back next season for Nats broadcasts, just not on MASN
- LeBron James suffers a serious injury and misses much of the 2013-14 season
- Strasburg wins NL CY Young, Bryce Harper joins 40/40 Club
- the Washington Wizards will continue to suck
- the Washington Nationals will have more wins at the end of the NBA regular season than the Wizards
- A wrestler currently in WWE or TNA will die, possibly while performing
- Dwyane Wade misses a week with an ingrown toe nail
- The Rock will end CM Punk's title reign only to drop the title to Dolph Ziggler who cashes in his Money in the Bank briefcase
- The New York Yankees will finish 4th in the AL East
- Baseball finally does something to protect pitchers from batted balls after a scary incident in July
- Andray Blatche will glue his finger up his nose
- Brett Favre will attempt another NFL comeback, this time with the Oakland Raiders
- Speaking of the Silver & will Donovan McNabb (black guy, silver hair)
- A fat person will finally win the Nathan's hot dog eating contest..then will be disqualified when its found out its a pregnant woman and it was technically two people competing
- Manny Ramirez attempts a comeback in a Beer League Softball and is cut for being out of shape and unable to hit the ball
- Joe Flacco will be franchised by the Ravens and fans will call for him to be replaced by Tyron Taylor by Week 6
- RG3 will remain amazing while Romo and the Cowboys will still suck
- Despite deserving a chance, Juan Dixon will not be given one last shot to make it back into the NBA
- Andy Reid and Rex Ryan face off in a championship match...for pie eating
John Travolta & Tom Cruise will finally admit they’re gay and are actually a couple (I think I did this one for 2012 too)
- Lindsay Lohan will manage to stay sober….for 20 minutes
- I’ll see maybe 6 of the following movies at the theatre the first half of the year: Gangster Squad, The Last Stand, Safe Haven, Snitch, The Heat, Jurassic Park 3D (AMAZING), 42, Pain & Gain, Fast & Furious 6, Olympus Has Fallen, Monsters University, White House Down
- the following movies will underperform: Oz The Great & Powerful, A Good Day to Die Hard, G.I. Joe: Retaliation, Hangover Part III, Fast & Furious 6
- Oblivion’s lack of success will again cause people to question why Tom Cruise is put in movies
- Will Smith will give M Night Shyamalan his highest grossing movie since The Sixth Sense with After Earth tho we may not see another Will Smith movie or look at him the same again for at least 5 years.
- Sleeper Movies: Olympus Has Fallen, Now You See Me, Much Ado About Nothing, White House Down
- Iron Man 3 and Man of Steel will fail to impress me, though Amy Adams will help Superman
- A young blonde actress and candyland pop starlet (names removed for my safety) will have a photo scandals
- Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds will get divorced
- Kim Kardashian will marry Kanye West and Kanye will put out a sex tape with Kris, Humphries not Kardashian
- Justin Beiber will hit a girlfriend and get busted for drugs 
- Andy Roddick knocks up Brooklyn Decker
- Taylor Swift will get will not be Daren Hayes’
- Rihanna won't learn her lesson and will get smacked around by Chris Brown again
- Gabriel Iglesias will be recognized as the funniest comedian alive
- Katt Williams will continue his downward spiral until he kills himself at a Home Depot
- Psy will quickly be forgotten about but will end up going on a tour with MC Hammer and later joined by Vanilla Ice
- Gangnam Style will go the way of the Macarena and Tubthumping only being heard at sporting events
- Christine Lakin will make a (don't call it a) comeback with a new TV show
- Betty White and Zsa Zsa Gabor last another year
- While men would prefer a scandal involving Carrie Underwood we'll only get the announcement that she is with child

Politics/World News
- We will know less about what happened in Benghazi by December 31, 2013 than we do now
- Two former US Presidents will pass away..George H.W. Bush and Jimmy Carter
- someone will die in the penguin exhibit at a zoo and people will demand penguins be sent back to Antarctica and banned from zoos and aquariums across the US
- There will be at least one news story of someone going to the hospital because they got their penis stuck in one of those Chinese finger locks

1 comment:

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